Saturday, February 2, 2013

Open Society Secrets I Wasn't Told During Pregnancies.



When you are pregnant, you have hundreds of questions and your imagination takes you to new heights. Pregnancy is like the beginnings of an initiation. I equate birthing as “Crossing the sands”. The ring of fire seals the deal. Hehe. You are officially in an open society. But the society members didn’t tell me all the tidbits. It is like some things I had to learn on my own.  So I’m gonna break the parental code of silence and share some things you are never told when you are pregnant.

  • There will never be a Me, Myself and I- Kiss the alone time good bye, even when you have to relieve your intestines aka take a shit, my children want to talk as if we are in the living room watching a family movie. You cannot imagine who would want to be in that small space with you at that moment, the child wants to bust open the door and come in. But when you need a hug, smile, or sweet nothing, your child will always be on time. He/she is so in tune with the needs of the family. Just be receptive to this love. 
  • It is not just the “terrible twos” – Each year of my children’s life brings new levels of challenges, processes and tantrums. My children have taught me so much about myself and about what it takes to grow. We are human. The process is beautiful and shows you things about yourself you never knew existed. Both of you grow- you discover how much of your parents you are and how much of yourself you didn't know existed.
  • Your body will never be the same - Creating a baby is a job!! The mother is the artist. Take pics when you still got your original PYT body. When I was a little girl, a mean one too, I told my mom her breast looked like raggedy ann. How rude was that? Guess who has them same breast now after breastfeeding two children? I do. Some might say its vain but it’s the truth. I am a habitat. You think once you have the child your physical work is over. Hah. Your body is now the jungle gym, pillow, crawl pad, blankie, snuggle buddy, snot/slob catcher and sometimes the potty. Even though my body is not the same, I see it as a plant that has produced beautiful fruit. The production took a lot of time and energy. An investment I wouldn’t take back.  
  • Breastfeeding a baby hurts at first!! We only see the happy pics of moms breastfeeding. Those first two days are make it or break it, show up or sit out. Your nipples are changing over. A natural bottle top.  I remember when my son was nursing and I called my dad and told him I wasn’t gonna make it. I was crying hysterically and told him how painful it was. My dad was so sweet and told me it was gonna be okay and drove me to a lactation counselor. That visit turned my whole outlook around. Breastfeeding is such a gift for both mother and child. It just takes a little work unwrapping that present. There are times when I became the human pacifier. Sometimes one nipple would be cracked or raw because baby has used it to soothe those itchy gums. Once those teeth “break” through your baby’s smile is the cutest thing in the world.
  • You will lose sleep even after the first few weeks. You realize that the saying “sleep is the cousin to death” is false. The truth is sleep is the ticket to life and sanity. Sure the baby needs to eat lots when he first comes home. After that, you will have some episodes of fevers, teething, upset stomachs, allergies, pee accidents. These will keep you awake or get you up during that good sleep. I don’t think my sleep has ever been the same. Some nights though, after I’ve gone through the hundred things I will have to do in the morning with only 3hrs of sleep, I smile. Why? Because I just lost sleep for such a delicate growing being. 
  • Lastly, This will be the best times of your life. Children are your confidants, teachers and truth sayers. There will never be a dull moment!!!






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